The Lepers of the Church

Hi All

Today, I am going to take a bit of time to sort of "rant" I suppose. I am disappointed in my home church.  I had hoped that things would be better. Here's a little poem.

The Lepers of the Church
a poem about autism and parenting.

We come, seeking understanding
We come, seeking friendship and love
When we arrive, we find ourselves surrounded
by rigid rules and snappy comments
It was as if you were not happy to see us return

We are the lepers; the outcasts, always alone.
Today's world says "We can't handle your kid!"
Or they say, "You need to control or discipline him"
Some look at us and say to themselves, "What terrible parents"

Constantly, we remain on our guard
in all restaurants, stores and
 even in the one place where we thought we would be welcome
The Church.

My hope and my challenge is this.
Prove me wrong; I so desperately want to be wrong.

Comments

[fightinggale]

[this is good] A wonderful poem.  It says it all!

[Christy]

At our church we have a program called Barnabus buddies and they take care of the special needs kids while their parents are in church. We also have it at VBS so they can go too.

[Norma Druid]

Never expect acceptance from a whole church.  If you can function in any church long enough, you will always find two or three families who will be friends and work together with you.  Some have problem children; others just seem to have big spirits and a lot of tolerance.  We found a few, and by hanging around and being visible my folks made a difference to a number of church folks.
  I´m sorry this is so difficult right now.  I suppose in my case I never expected it to be anything but difficult.

[Ubi Caritas]

Oh, dear.  I'm sorry to read this.

I've heard of churches where certain volunteers would be assigned special-needs kids to help through services or create appropriate activities for (in lieu of services) elsewhere in the church building.

Being Catholic, my perspective on this is a bit different.  There are at least two people with autism-spectrum issues who attend one of the Masses that I regularly attend.  They attend Mass along with their families.  Yes, they are occasionally a bit disruptive.  Both are adults or in their late teens.  But a) they behave most of the time, b) if they get too disruptive (throwing themselves about, screaming) their parents walk them outside for a few minutes, and therefore c) I figure that it probably isn't bothering God, so why should it bother me?

Now, if their folks didn't have certain behavior standards for them, I'd find them distracting because, to be honest, it's hard to focus on the Mass when someone is screaming or flailing right in front of me. ;)  But their parents have set boundaries, and these kids (well, they're about my age, but mental ages of 5-8 as a guess) usually stay within them, so it just isn't a big deal to me.  I guess that I view those individuals as small children in big bodies, so I don't expect perfect behavior all the time, just acceptable behavior most of the time.

Behavioral expectations are reasonable (and I'm sure you and FightingGale have some).  Likewise, a modicum (or, better yet, a big ol' helping) of tolerance should be the norm from their end.

I really hope that everything works out well for you, FightinGale, and the kidlets.

[PatrickXFCE]

Thanx Ubi

As a matter of perspective, our Josh's case is mild in comparison.  Our friend has 2 children who can't even go through the church doors because they are afraid of the crowds.  We can usually get Josh and Gracie to go to church.

But what of those, who cannot?  What for them, I wonder?  Who speaks for them?